Alt Lifestyle Club

Swingers Rules For New Couples from admin's blog

So you have decided to "give it a go" and you have probably spent quite some time discussing who, when, where, why and, most importantly, your emotions. If you haven't, then you probably should. It's best to get some of this out of the way before, rather than after, as you'll have a basis through which you can debrief afterwards. It takes an open and honest relationship to ensure you can survive as a couple.

Your next step is to discuss your rules which can be tricky!

First of all, there is one rule you will see at all events, parties, clubs and with all couples... No is no! If someone isn't happy then everything stops. There is no issue there, no embarrassment, it's healthy and it's obvious if someone isn't happy, which isn't what you are looking for.

But if we dig a little deeper, we can set out some basic rules to start with. In the beginning we remember having times where we had a huge amount of rules, that's part of the insecurity of swinging and that's fine too. But sometimes this becomes too restrictive and you spend your time trying to create an atmosphere of fun whilst worrying about overstepping the line or watching your partner to see if they are going too far. What you don't want is someone to break a rule just because it wasn't really going to be practical anyway. That will create issues and all of a sudden you are thrown into unknown territory, where you may want to call it or you lose that trust.

So here are some ideas to work on. My suggestion is don't have too many but know your boundaries:

1.Is anything off limits? Try not to pick positions as, after all, it doesn't matter what position you are in, you're still having sex!

2.Are you happy to have sex or is it just oral / watching / same room with your own partner? Yes, that is a thing, especially if it is all new to you both. Start there.

3.How can you communicate that your are not happy or want to stop? This develops over time and we now have our little signs. We can meet someone in a bar and have a chat and take them home without even having a conversation with each other. They would never know that we have been communicating the whole time, and that we have both agreed.


4.Decide where to start. If it's a couple, start with same room, foreplay only, it's OK. Just make sure they know. We all remember where we started and how hard it was to figure it all out. If they don't like the idea, walk away! But stick to what you have decided, don't try and take it a step further, leave it until the next time.

5.If you aren't both into the other person or couple, don't take one for the team. Of course, it's about fun too and you are not going to end up with a supermodel every time, so be realistic about what you are doing. This is often based on personality rather than just looks.

These are the basics to get you started. What rules do you have? Add to the comments and let's help out a few new couples. Afterwards there will be plenty to debrief... do you see them again and are you going to keep them as a friend(s), what worked and what didn't, would it be better with a single or the opposite sex? I'd suggest you try it, mix it up and see what works. I do know that we go through phases depending on what we fancy and that's what it's all about. 

So get out there and have some fun, and don't forget to let me know how it goes.

Tracy xxx

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By admin
Added Jul 11 '20



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