How To Build The Most Awesome Profile. from admin's blog

Presently 1 in 5 relationships, and 1 in 6 marriages are due to online dating! They are figures you can't argue with! So how do you go about presenting yourself on-line successfully? Writing about yourself is awkward at best, but whilst it’s a necessary evil that allows you to facilitate the great matches in your on line dating journey, a little bit of effort and research is going to produce the best results. And, believe me, Tim and I have both navigated the dating scene for some time. The swingers profile is a far more advanced ballgame, which I will discuss another time. So, for now, here are my suggestions for your single relationship profiles.

First of all, don't use a slutty username, put yourself in the best possible light even if you are looking for a bit of fluff for the night. You never know when your person may pass you by because you thought it was cool or funny. Try to make it relevant to you but without disclosing details that may be too personal. Depending on the site, you might include your town to help them navigate the lack of search facility. Use your nickname and year of birth. This is always a good alternative as it matches your age details and gives you some credibility. Never lie about your age! Try to keep it simple and readable, not a long list of words and numbers, it looks cheesy. You might even try a short phrase or your middle name but remember, most sites don't let you change your username. Twelve months later when you have finished playing around and you're getting serious about meeting that person, you don't want to have to delete your account and start all over again.. Steer well clear of using irrelevant vowels. ‘Sh1tHawt’ isn't particularly attractive, even if you are, and it wont bring first-class suitors knocking on your door. You could make your username a funny play on words or a clever quip as this is likely to attract the eye of a humorous date. Maybe you have famous song lyrics (not anything cheesy though) or even pop culture references. They all show a level of intelligence and interest outside of yourself. Humour is often the key.

Now the “about Me” segment, you have to decide what sort of human you would like to attract. The beauty of this part is it's a work in progress. It will evolve over time, get longer, more specific and detailed. It can change as your tastes or outcomes do, so don't waste too much time on it to start with.  Most people will choose you from your picture first and we'll get to that in a moment. However, at some point someone is going to read your profile. Now, let's be honest, it is important that you give them some details in here. A blank box or series of scrambled letters from when you joined shows a distinct lack of commitment and gives them little to talk to you about. Also... spell and grammar check it! You have spent all this time choosing the wittiest and most exquisite username and your person moves on because you can't use a spellchecker.  Don't abbreviate too much or slip into texting world where GR8 is acceptable and LOL is no longer used. Abbreviations are not a good look. Try to give them some information about you, a conversation starter, but not that you are handsome, sweet or funny. That's for them to decide! My friends describe me as... no thanks! Tell them a little about your life, a hobby, something that gives them a picture of who you might be. Don't forget that you are selling yourself, so own it. Be confident with who you are but not arrogant and never be negative or depressing. You have some interesting qualities, thoughts, hobbies and ideas. Perhaps even suggest where you would like to first meet, for an ice cream at the beach for example.

Now, you guys, I think you should all know this by now, but it seems a few drinkies and it all goes out of the window. We don't need dick pics. We like them because they feel good, not because they look awesome. Even if yours is huge, it's still not a good look. I’m pretty sure that my vagina would feel good to you but I think you would be quite disturbed if I started sending you internal pictures of it. Are we clear on that? We would much prefer a smile or a nice looking chest to fantasise about running our hands down. Sexy is coming back in, even for one night stands or swinging. We don’t want to see it all, it’s supposed to be a surprise. Grooming is also important. You may be a tradie and that may be hot, but you’re hot when you look clean and healthy in your fluoro shirt. Grooming is even more important when you meet! I think we should discuss the meeting another time.

So, what should you do on your profile and what shouldn’t you do? Here we go:

1. Be honest, be yourself and be enticing.

2. Be honest if you have children and if you share time with them

3. Mention what you think you’d like in a partner but not too much pressure. Someone who can cook is one thing, someone to make me laugh is a whole different level… you haven’t even met yet.

4. Get someone to read over it with you and if you wrote it over a few drinks, don’t forget to go back and edit it in the morning.

5. Provide an opening for conversation in your profile such as things you like, your pastimes and hobbies.

6. Keep it concise, eloquent and truthful, it can still grow with time but don’t waffle on and do use paragraphs.

7. Don’t try to be the person you think your person is looking for, be you!

8. Don’t talk yourself up, you’ll scare them away or meet the narcissist you didn’t want.

9. Don’t tell them to stay away if… We all have all those traits in our personalities, that makes us human.

10. Do not be needy, wanting, looking for… Everyone knows we all need, that’s why we’re on the site in the first place.

Now, sigh, pictures.

This can depend. Some people do require privacy, particularly when swingers and in smaller towns or in particular jobs. Maybe you’re gay and people don’t know. That’s fine, I like girls and boys but I don’t tell people at work or my children. What follows is a generalisation. I’ll come back to the others another time.

Dating sites allow you multiple images but one is your profile picture. This is your selling point. It needs to be a clear head-shot or top of body and solo. No confusing you with your super hot friend so you can get a foot in the door. Take time to choose one or get someone to take a great shot of you. Don’t have all selfies or mirror shots. Then have some full body shots. It’s fine to use your best side, after all, you’re selling yourself, but make them honest. If you don’t have full shots or clear shots, they’ll think you’re hiding something. Smile and be happy, be yourself. Look into the lens. Check out a few model shots, looking at the lens gives you that personal connection. Also, I remember I have some great photos, expensive lingerie, heels, looking a million dollars, but the toilet is in the background! Check your photos. No messy bedrooms, clutter or children! There are some weirdos out there. Make sure they are recent and if you are online for a while, update them. We all get older, that’s ok!

You should now have some stylish photos with a stylish profile. Professional, clear, honest and showing you for who you are. You may think it even looks different to all the others on the site. Good! That means that you have probably done the right thing and yours will stand out above the rest. That goes for hook-ups too. I would pick a one-nighter with a stylish boy / girl profile rather than the others.

So now you have to get yourself out there. Meet in public places and be honest. Much better to have a drink and say thank you for meeting at the end and walk away than to be uncomfortable. The more you do it, the better you will get at it. Dating takes practise to be confident and to be yourself. You have to learn how to be you in front of others. So, don’t turn down opportunities and don’t ghost people. You can always tell a white lie and say you will only meet for half an hour as you have other commitments. That works well. Walk away and get back to them if you’d like to see them again. You don’t have to put out… that goes for men too!

I hope this has been some help and I hope we see some awesome profiles on here. If you have any other points, leave a comment below...

Tracy xxx